Nic Masangkay – DARK AT DUSK: The Final Suicide
(2019, self-released)
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Nic Masangkay’s DARK AT DUSK: The Final Suicide tells the story of how one might create something deeply strong and beautiful out of intense trauma and seemingly insurmountable pain.
What becomes evident immediately with “Trauma Is a Metaphor” is Masangkay’s mastery of production. Working with Camelia Jade Lazenby at Jack Straw Cultural Center, they interweave beats that showcase a background steeped in pop, R&B, and hip-hop, among many other genres. Polyrhythmic bass lines move the lyrical content along in waves of understanding. It’s easier to comprehend these difficult experiences through this music.
Following this track comes “Diaspora Lover (feat. Guayaba),” which furthers the cathartic story being woven through this record. One begins to get the sense that Masangkay has weathered much more than heartbreak in personal relationships. “Is strength too much for you?/Is femme too much for you?/Is love too much for you?/My love is too much for you.” The accompanying arrangement underneath the lyrics craft a sense of urgency around Masangkay’s perspective.
The hurt and pain that Masangkay is exorcising continues with a dreamy sounding song called “Sleep (feat. Zora Seboulisa)” that sings like the most soothing of all lullabies. Taking a break from the more complex production found on the rest of the record, the listener gets to hear their voice come through with renewed strength. The slow scatting at the end ushers in a sense of peace that everything *might* be all right despite the world being so overwhelming.
Following this lullaby comes “Forever (feat. Falon Sierra)” which is accompanied by a captivating video. It’s another testament to Masangkay’s resilience as a human being that despite all of the difficulties surrounding the feelings of having been broken, the question remains at the end: “Is it ‘I love you’?/Or is it the end?” Sierra’s voice soars over the deep, brooding bass beat.
As “Undesirable (feat. Rhemic)” unfolds, you can hear the suicidal feelings and thoughts of the record come to an apex. “I just need to die” and “undesirable to death” echo throughout the track, giving apparent voice to so many individuals struggling in their environment. The grittier treatment of the vocals is spot on: it is here more than on any other track that Masangkay gives voice to every human who has been to this dark, dark place.
Masangkay ends the record with “The Final Lullaby,” which begins with the perennial theme of wondering about existence in this state and suggests that the artist and their listener need one another. With the final two lines “You’ve already won,” Masangkay leaves it up to the listener to decide if it’s a feeling of defeat or hope. This writer/listener chooses hope because if someone is able to create something this gorgeous out of such painful experiences and inspire a community to listen and celebrate it, then where else could hope live?